Everyone is all excited about Justin Beiber, but the kid is getting older and his appeal is dropping. Not me. I never get old. Most people spend their lives searching for the fountain of youth, while i'm trying to give it away. Do you know what it's like to howl at every full moon, hoping you will turn into a wearwolf so you can have a beard by age 30? Most people say you have to relate to your audience well, tough! Are there any 5 year olds out there? Ill show you how to be a t-rex. I remember gym class we had to change to get a good grade. All the guys had hair under their arms except me. I used to change with my arms down. Then they would spray themselves with a can of axe deodorant. I didn't because I couldn't sweat. I remember the only way I could get a girl to give me her phone number was if I told her I needed a baby sitter. Seriously, i'm the only guy at the bar who uses his library card as a form of id. The looks I get when I order a drink are outstanding. I ordered a jack and coke and got a souvenir sippy cup. The movies were a big thing in high school. I remember I was so excited when I turned 17 because I could finally see an R rated movie. My friends were so jealous, because I was the only one who paid kids price.